Getting Over A Breakup - Take Control Of Your Ex On The Rebound
What happens when you are dealing with a break up with your partner and you find that virtually over night she has started dating someone else? How did she get over the split so fast when you are still reeling from the shock and trying to figure out what went wrong? She is in what is known as a "rebound relationship" and this is a common situation that a dumped partner can find himself staring helplessly at. Does this mean it is all over? Could she have moved on and forgotten about you in such a short time? In order to answer those questions we need to know just what a rebound relationship is and use that information to our advantage.
The first element to realize in a rebound is that she is dating someone new purely to get over you as fast as she can. It is a basic "knee jerk" panic reaction that she indulges instinctively in that she thinks will help her get her head together and move on with her life. She will almost jump at the first guy who shows her the slightest bit of attention. She will do this because she thinks it will make it easier for her to get over you, while also proving to herself she is still capable attracting another partner. This is her way of learning how to handle a breakup.
The second stage in a rebound is to understand that she has started a relationship with a new partner so that she will not have to deal with the emotions pains of breaking up with you. The new relationship will be taking all of her time up so she can avoid the emotions that you will no doubt be dragging yourself through. She quite literally will not give herself any time for emotional hurt.
These two components have an underlying fact that is they are both used by people to help them move on from a "real love". You must understand this as it is the key to getting back with your ex. This whole rebound relationship that has been created by her is based around her desperately trying to deal with losing you!
At this point when getting over a breakup it really does not matter who the blame falls on for causing the split. It does not matter who decided to break things up or why she decided to let you go. The most important thing to take on board here is that you have a real love. And if you have a relationship that is founded on a feeling of real love then your relationship is not beyond repair. In fact any relationship that is based around love has a huge chance of a successful rekindling.
Putting herself in a rebound relationship will make her focus on what she feels was wrong in your relationship. For instance if you were a nice guy she may have started dating a someone that acts a little more like a bad boy. She will probably be focusing on the differences between you both. If you were in to having quiet nights in, he would more than likely be into going out and partying or vice versa. There are two reasons why her focusing on what the differences between you both are can be a good thing. By her focusing on making sure she is doing things differently from the things she did with you with this new guy she is still thinking about you. This will give you a great insight into what it is that she is really looking for.
If the person she has chosen to start dating is completely different from you it could indicate that there was indeed something drastically missing from your relationship and you could utilise this time with her rebound guy to make some slight improvements to yourself. Start looking at what it is she likes about this new man and see how you could add to who you are.
As painful as it may feel, you must allow this relationship rebound to happen. Let it run its full course and after a month or so the new man in her life will start to show a few flaws in his Armour. The cracks will start to appear and what started out as the perfect new life for her will suddenly expose it for what it really is. A relationship formed around a rebound and she will then start to reflect on some of the qualities that originally attracted her to you.
You need to let her get on with this new exciting relationship because soon the newness will wear off and she will begin to really miss all the good things that you had when you were together. When she is ready let her make a move and when she does be prepared to let her back in your life in a warm no strings way. Show her that you have become a new and improved version of who she was with before but do not do any chasing. Let her decide in her own time when she wants to talk about things and just play the waiting game.
When your ex is in a rebound relationship there are some basic steps you need to follow:
1 - Control the urge to prove that you are the one for her. Give her plenty of space and in her own time she will learn to realize that you are the one she really loves.
2 - Stop apologizing for something you did wrong. This will make you look week and needy. It is good to say sorry for whatever you did but say it once and move on! She knows deep inside why she loves you so why keep digging up the past.
3 - Dont make wild claims that you are going to change. There is no reason to change. You are the person she fell in love with and within you is still the essence of that guy. Minor alterations to get the "you" back on track are fine but any drastic un-natural changes will not be sustainable in the long run.
4 - Trying to convince her that the breakup wasnt your fault will only make her fight her own corner. So let it go. As time goes on she may understand that it wasnt your fault so let time be the healer.
5 As hard as it may be when surviving a breakup never under any circumstance lower your guard and beg her to take you back. This at first may seem like a good idea, but the sympathy vote just does not work. She must be left to decide what the outcome will be and you should not be seen as chasing her for an answer!
When your ex suddenly jumps into a new relationship in what seems like only minutes after you have broken up it is a rebound relationship. If you simply allow the time with this sudden overnight new boyfriend just run its course you will find that she will soon get tired of things and start to miss what you both had. Rebound relationships do not signal that it is all over, it lets you know that she still loves you and you can get back together.
------
A Rebound Relationship is something that can easily be turned to your advantage and help gain control of your relationship. But in order to maximize your chances of getting back together you will need a lot more targeted help. To pick your FREE report entitled "How To Win Your Lover Back" Top 10 Mistakes you cant Afford To Make go to:
http://www.getexbackforum.com