How to Properly Communicate in a Marriage
It is absolutely vital that couples learn how to safeguard and improve communication in a marriage, if they want to have a successful and happy marriage that lasts a lifetime. This communication needs to start well before the marriage vows are taken, as there needs to be some issues ironed out before a couple even get married or else they will find theyre more difficult to address after marriage. How can you keep open communication in marriage and how can you improve it?
Communication in marriage means putting yourself in the other persons place and thinking about what they need to know and hear from you, and how your communication may affect them. We communicate in many different ways, not just talking. A look, a touch, and even our actions all communicate something. If you and your spouse talk about a particular budget and then you go out and buy something frivolous, you may be communicating that you dont really care about his or her feelings or about living up to your end of your agreements. Never underestimate the damage that this type of communication in marriage can do to a couple! You dont need to say hateful or hurtful words to actually hurt your spouse, so be mindful of this.
Understanding why your spouse may need to hear certain things from you can also greatly improve communication in marriage. You may resent needing to call if youre going to be late coming home from work, thinking that your spouse is checking up on you, but put yourself in his or her place. They may be wondering if youve been in an accident, or may be trying to plan their evening - should they stay home and wait for you, should they wait until you come home to eat dinner, should they just go out with their friends because youre going to be that late? By understanding why they appreciate this type of communication in marriage, you can then be more cooperative about addressing it.
If you notice that communication is lacking a bit in your marriage, ask yourself how you respond to your spouses attempts to communicate. If youre very quick-tempered and impatient and have a tendency to fly off the handle over even little things, this makes for poor communication in marriage. Why would your spouse approach you and talk about anything if he or she knows your reaction is going to be so negative? You cannot blame your spouse for poor communication in the marriage if you yourself are making it difficult or nearly impossible to communicate at all!
Its important to keep open the lines of communication in marriage so that each spouse feels free to talk to the other one about anything, and to express their own particular needs and preferences. If you cant talk about the small things and refuse to respect your spouses preferences when it comes to communication in the marriage, how will you ever talk and discuss and plan for the important things?
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